In a local coffee shop:
"Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants."
At the gym's aerobics class:
"I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!"
said by Nora Joyce, wife of author James Joyce:
"Why dont you write books people can read?"
a six-year-old autograph seeker at a book signing by Faye Wray:
"I've been wanting to meet you for half my life."
woman on cell-phone, 10:30am, January 1, 2004:
"Did you break any New Years resolutions yet?"
woman and daughter passing by:
"That was not a price tag, dear. It was an umbilical cord."
editor's query: Maybe that young girl has an idea?
Los Angeles Transit union executive:
"I'm sorry the strike happened. But I don't apologize for it."
Citi Bank Advertising copy:
"Penny candy is a nickel. Water costs a dollar. But laughter is still a bargain."
during the New York blackout of 2003:
"They should turn the lights out more often."
on the answering machine:
"My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished."
man and woman in supermarket:
"I'm going to be a god-mother soon."
"Yeah, well, I can top that. I'm going to be a god!"